i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
