Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
