Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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