escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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