yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
