We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
