you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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