I'm gonna have a badass scar
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
