soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
