The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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