It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
