Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
