This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
