turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
