Im at strip club and am horny
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
