Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
