my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
