sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
