At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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