I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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