sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
