my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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