He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and i looked up. we had an audience...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
