Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
