if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
barbara walters just said penis...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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