By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize