the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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