i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
