remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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