whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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