I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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