i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
