Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
