so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
