Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
