After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
