Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
