Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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