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So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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