I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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