I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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