I think scott just propositioned me for sex
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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