why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
