you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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