windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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