He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
