During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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