I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
