soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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