I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
two words...techno handjob
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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