Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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