when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
