Your mouth is God's brothel.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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