So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
