Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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