I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize