i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
