I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
