have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
