Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
